My favorite children’s story is The Velveteen Rabbit. I have given several copies of this book away through the years. I like it because the story of the book reveals a characteristic of effective leadership. As I look at the emerging generation of leaders, I believe I see a call and cry for authenticity. They aren’t interested in the fake. They want the genuine. I think the old Skin Horse gave the Velveteen Rabbit some outstanding advice about being an authentic person. I take the time to share a portion of the book with you for the benefit of those who haven’t read the story or for those who haven’t read it in a long time.
The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs on his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Something to think about and to respond to:
What can we as leaders do to encourage authenticity? Is it possible for a leader in today’s world to actually ‘be real’? Is it permitted? What are some of the dangers, the pitfalls, when you are real?
It is much more dangerous NOT to be real. We’ve all seen, in very public downfalls, the affects on ministry leaders who felt the pressure to constantly be ‘on’. Often, these leaders have admitted to feeling there was no one or no place where they could be vulnerable. This is one of the most dangerous ways not only to lead, but to live. At some level, everyone needs a ‘safe place’. A place to truly express our heart, passions, dreams, and personal struggles. It is imperative to our spiritual and emotional well-being. Once we find that safe place, it is much easier to truly be real with those we lead. We’re able to lead with a confidence and authenticity that the best leaders possess.